Bloggingg...

hey bastards and bitches.

i know its been ages and ages since ive blogged

but ive suddenly had this miracle feeling to blog

could it be im avoiding studying for sejarah?

ofcourse not. i would never ever do dat o:)

LOADS and LOADS has happened since my last post

i just havent had the time or energy to blog really.

dont get me wrong. that doesnt mean i have a life already

cause im still lifelesss.. just with school and everything.

if i have time to spare id rather watch tv or catch up on beauty sleep that i so lake of.

welll lets get started.

26th December 2007 - simone had a christmas / new years bash. got shit drunk with david, jerome, brandon and azif. did a few things i quite regret which will stay between us party goers. lol. but had a blast anyway! eventho it was cheap ass shit we were drinking. but booze is booze. same affect.

28th December 2007- got PMR results back. Got 5 As 3 Bs. not bad. kindda wat i expected but im happy with it.

31st December 2007- went to new years rave. got sexually harrassed. it wasnt as dramatic as it sounds. got shit wasted. bad hangover the next day. but still the best way to start a new year :)

3rd January 2008 - first day of school. Form 4 sucks btw. loads of pressure. but watever. school is school.

13th January 2008 - finally became an aunty. welcomed my niece Aleena. shes gorgeous btw.. look totally like me if i do say so myself :p love her to bits.

and blah blah blah. nothing else worth blogging about after day.

well last week was sports day. im like fucking burnt to the crisp! im so god damn tanned. as if i wwasnt dark enough. i might as well join some african tribe. lol. it was a horrible sports day tho. and its all HIS fault. yes we all know who HE is. my on and off again sorta kindda not really boyfriend of two years. his name is classified but im sure we all noe who im talking bout.

its a long story. but he ticked me off obviously. and he totally ignored me dat s.o.b. hahahaha. like he always does anyway. i dont know why i was so surprised. his done dat time and time again. but knowing me. i have anger management problems and i admit it. well he totally went over the line this time! like i mean i was suffferinggggggg. all kinds of shit was going through my head. he never really loved me at all. he was totally making a big huge ass outta me. ive been playing his stupid game all this time. its some kindda way of getting back at me. he was playing me for a fool and yada yada yada. i couldnt sleep , i couldnt eat, i couldnt do anythingg. that, i think was the first time ive felt that way really.. or maybe second.. not sure. but anyway, i think the reason it hurt so much was since we werent really "together" in that sense. it was going really good ya noe. like how it was beforeee.. i was really really falling for him all over again and i didnt even realise it. i was just in totally denial. i kept telling myself that it was all just for fun and no strings attached. WRONG.

The next day, once again he totally IGNORED me. like i mean totally! and he totally gave me the stink eye like loads of times! and its not like he was really far away from me either. he was sitting a few steps away and acting like i dont fucking exist. that was the worst kindda heartache ive ever felt. watching him sitting there not giving a damn shit about my existance looking all hot and adorable. "gag" i mean.. damn he is fine! and i was being all emo listening to my ipod real loud. listening to angry at the world songs. and being all quiet. which everyone knows is so not me. like duh! and i was totally being all stalker-ish. like looking at his every single move. like stalker much! i couldnt decide which was worst seeing him or not seeing him. i really hate wat ive become thanks to him. hes made me some kindda emo bitch who is like fucking paranoid and self concious and i so hate it! i really thought he was playing me for some kind of fool.

then ofcourse the very end of the second day he decides to talk to me. acting all innocent and shit. like wtf? i was totally pisseddd.. but the truth is. deep down all i wanted was for him to just LOOK at me. like even just look at me. cos i guess i knew if he didnt it would be so over and i didnt want to lose him eventho he is an ass hole. lol :S but he did beg... so dat was nice of him. but still

the hurt is still there... i mean he'll never understand how much that hurt mee... and now i dont even knoww if i trust him. if i ever can. seems like all he can do is talk. like ppl say if u cant walk the walk then dont talk the talk. lol. but yet. with one simple sad look and that smile that i loveee so much. he was forgiven. yes i am weak. i really dont learn. i know hes just gonna do it again and ill probarly just forgive him again. itll never end.. he's my ******. ill always have a soft spot for him. no matter how hard i fight it and how hard i try to convince myself dat its all bull shit. i know its true.. deep down its always true. and yeah i sound like some sappy love striken idiot.. and i hate that! god. hahahah.

if anyone i knew read this i would so have to like shoot myself. cos i sound so fucking gay. ahahhaahha

i just poured my heart and soul like never before to a fucking blog.

its so sad. its called having a hhugeee ego. no one can noe bout this! lol

but i guess now thats it.. hrmm.. feels better actually.

i better fucking study sejarah. or im gonna fucking fail.

a C would be good enough for me rite nowww.. hahaha

i dont know when will be the next time i blog

here as some pics of sports day btw. lol

but u know itll be worth the wait ;)

till then.

dyana <3